Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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