hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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