i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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