the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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