we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm passing your future prison.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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