We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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