..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize