Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
