this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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