Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to be your penis for a week.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
