I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Bring me that man meat
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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