If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
