Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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