I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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