she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
