yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
