oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
