That's when you crack a 10am beer
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
