Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
