TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found your dick twin last night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
