and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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