I feel like abortions should bother me more
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
