I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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