I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
