i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
