I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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