hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
