Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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