the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize