she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
