Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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