I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
