its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
