We're facebook friends in real life
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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