I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
