dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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