No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
