As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
