I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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