Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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