if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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