Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
