Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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