My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
