Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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