i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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