dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
