So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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