Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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