I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize