Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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