I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nicole vs. Life
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
