i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
