This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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