apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
