just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
