I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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