I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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